The final group of the semester was earlier today. It went well for the most part. We got through the curriculum, and then I gave a little speech about how I thought my students' experiences with Y-Scholars was like. I talked about how I felt they hadn't been respecting each other and their privilege of being in the program. I conveyed that I didn't think they wanted to be in this Y-Scholars space because of their lack of respect, for me included. They just really need to think about what they want to do with their lives, and not only with Y-Scholars but whatever future goals they have. So many of them have bad grades and that is going to have an effect on what they want to do, whether it is going to college or getting a job.
I think I need to do a lot of thinking over myself in terms of my teaching and how I approach the students. I don't think I interact with people well especially when maturity and respect are lacking. Sometimes I think that despite my interest in helping my students, I don't always convey that with my tone of voice and obvious irritance with them. It's not good really, and like Jennie had told me, I do need to demonstrate that I am leading group and will not tolerate disrespect, while at the same time not being like an immature kid in a bad mood.
At times I think that I am just not cut out for this job. My heart isn't in it all the time, and lately I've begun to lose patience with my students. I don't know if it's good for my students that I don't exaclt LOVE this job all the time. I feel like in order to do well that I need to and I don't always. Also, it's been a challenge for me to adjust to my classes and my involvement with SAE, bridges, etc this year, and getting used to a new job isn't that easy either.
The emotional aspect of this job also something I have had to get used to. I worry about my students, like JV being undocumented or Allie and her problems with transitioning to high school. And although it shouldn't bother me, I am hurt just a little bit when my students are rude to me and make group difficult to get through. I know it shouldn't bother me, but I think about my job performance when things don't go well. What can I be doing different? is a question I tend to
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Hey Jude,
I took a loooong hiatus from blogspot. But I'm back now. Yay internet procrastination.
Anyway, as for teaching. It IS a hard job. You should talk to Rex- he's been through a heck of a lot. Anyway, I think a big part of teaching is patience. At least that's what I've learned through my own teaching experience. And even though you don't get instant results- if years later someone goes in their head "oh I should think about that" then maybe it will be because of you.
Teachers change lives, but its not always visible.
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